Forget High School, We Need a Romy & Michele Re-Union

I love Romy & Michele's High School Reunion. Probably my most quotable movie, and that's saying a lot. So if you're a fan, great. If not, screw off. If you haven't seen it, rent it. But I don't have the focus to properly confess my love for the 1997 not-as-dumb-as-you-think blond classic. Time is of the essence, we're already behind production schedule for a sequel. Nothing proved this more than the "Sex and the City" feature length, with some of the Fab Four's faces clearing melting like that Dali painting.

What really sparked this idea was watching a bit of Mira Sorvino in NBC's miniseries "The Last Templar," and realizing she was essentially Romy chasing down some da Vinci Code-esque ancient relic. OK let me remind you this Mira has a Harvard degree in East Asian Studies and speaks fluent Mandarin. But I still see Romy in this latest thing.

This proposed sequel, which is under the working title of "Romy & Michele's Visitation Rites," could totally happen if the original fantastic screenwriter was up for it. None of the film's principal cast really struck A-List Gold, so don't give me crap about ballooning budgets and whiney actors not wanting to commit. The original is a cult classic. Do your fans a service!

Let's-a-go: We last left off with Romy and Michele folding scarves at their very own L.A. boutique, made possible by multimillionaire mogul classmate Sandy Frink (aka The Frinkazoid). Well, Romy & Michele's has firmly established its success serving the Hollywood Elite (maybe a cameo or two here of the clients they've attracted. Julia Roberts, can you hear us? What a great way to tie the opening sequence into the "Pretty Woman" opening in the first. They could totally drop that joking "We have nothing for you here. Please leave!" line on her buddy-buddy-like. But Paris, Lindsay or Jessica S.: stay away!).

Ten years have gone by, and they've already proven how awesome they are to Sagebrush High Class of '87. The A Group couldn't hold these two down then, and they're still like, some of the most successful people in their entire graduating class! Here are some plot ramblings:

--Romy & Michele decided to each carry a child from the same father after managing to accidentally conceive on the same day. This was a result of their decision to try Lesbianism by the time they hit 30, and they decided to test the waters by first trying a threesome. This would make the girls 8 or so. I would love to see them be stylish little smart-asses who can outwit their mothers (like that's hard to do). I could totally see Romy and Michele approaching cougar-hood, "dating" their trainers and, of course, sharing a Valley home together. Cue some awesome toy pooches!

--Speaking of family ties, how great would it be to have R&S stop by their parents' house before the reunion? The casting would have to be perfect for the moms. I don't imagine matriarchal gal pals, but not complete opposite mothers either. Hmm Michele's blond Jewish mom...Barbra Streisand? No, have to think about this more. But I do imagine bejeweled track suits for M's mom, Romy's mom a bit more grounded. But I have some great casting for siblinghood! I am absolutely convinced that Jennifer Westfeldt could be Michele's sister (she'd have to play it a bit more brainy, as is her approach, and maybe she could get her hottie real-life boyfriend Jon Hamm to play that super-sperm donor; he's already proven his comedic chops on SNL). And just cuz I'm always looking out for her, Parker Posey could play a pretty convincing Romy's sister (provided she can pull off a surfer's accent). Maybe she could really be an inventor or scientist (rather than a designer).

--Heather Mooney must be in this movie! After all, she's like Michele's baby girl who smokes and says 'shit' a lot! I imagine with the oppressive U.S. smoking laws, Heather has sought refuge in Europe to continue her chain-smoking in peace, and to capitalize on her Lady Fair cigarettes (the ones that burn down really quick). She visits Romy and Michele for a little bit in L.A. before all joining forces for Tucson. I would love to see Justin Theroux in a little establishing sequence as Clarence the Cowboy, but I'm not so sure Heather would stay with him this long.

--I can't find much to say about The A Group. They're kind of stunted characters, don't you find? They would have to be there, but their jokes would run dry really quick. Perhaps Christy Masters could be a total wreck, but the other two hangers-on finally decided to "think for themselves for once" and do something interesting with their lives. Toby Walters would still be her annoying, giddy self. She's done the family thing and what not.

So to that end, I think it would be kind of great if R&S were so caught up in their own absorbing lives that they only stopped by the reunion's drunken sadness for the last 10-15 minutes of the movie, as opposed to all the reunion tension and forethought in the first installment.

So I might not be the one to fill in all the dialogue, but this NEEDS to happen before it's too late. It's almost too late. Hopefully the screenwriter Google alerts these references and gets in touch. I'd love to do business, sweetie, and there's more where this came from! C'mon, the TV prequel was a reported dud. Correct these wrongs and bring these two unforgettable characters into the present! And if you find it's too late for a 20, there's technically 3 more years to get out a 25-year!